Ever taken enough time in lawson 7/11 or FamilyMart to actually check out the magazines they’re selling?  If you’re like me you probably haven’t.  But just the other day out of complete boredom I did just that. 

Ok, so the vast majority of the magazines are women’s beauty and glamour mags and most of the rest are men’s gravure or porno mags.  Then of course there are the manga books, but usually in a different section because we wouldn’t want to have the kids manga on the same shelf as the men’s pornos would we.

But finally you should find a small selection of magazines with the words デリヘル or  でりへる printed on them.  These were the ones that caught my attention because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what デリヘル stood for.  A google search showed me that the words are short for delivery and health.    The one shown here is titled Manzoku which means satisfaction. 

Like a lot of non-japanese words that have been integrated into the Japanese language I don’t quite get how the terms Delivery and Health came to be used in the way that they are.  If my basic understanding is correct, Delivery Health service companies have been around in Japan for about 10 years, and the gist is that if you place an order with a Delivery Health service company within 45 minutes to an hour you are going to wind up with a beautiful young-ish girl ringing your buzzer (literally).  Sorry ladies, apparently the service does not yet extend to the delivery of male health service providers.  

From what I have been able to piece together through limited research the story is that, since the Japanese laws are apparently a little ambiguous on exactly which sexual acts qualify for a criminal charge of prostitution, these Delivery Health services seem to circumvent the problem by offering anything and everything short of vaginal sexual intercourse. 

In fact here’s a translated screenshot of a Delivery Health service’s website.  I’m fairly confident that I’m not actually violating their copyright by re-printing it here because this version has been run through a Babelfish translation service and so it is therefore markedly different than the original.  However, if you want to see the original just go here, and if the Delivery Health company wants me to remove the screenshot of their website I will.

Well, as you can plainly see the list of included “healthcare service” extends to such basic acts as ball-licking, 69 and element crotch (use your imagination).  However, since no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, after your Delivery Health service provider arrives, there’s a good bet that your Delivery Health includes the full health check-up.  And, as for the 2000 yen discount listed on the 45 minute health session, I imagine just like everyone else these Health Service Providers are also suffering from the current recession.

Although not quite the same as a デリヘル　magazine the much smaller pink chirashi leaflets arrive conveniently in your mailbox every week.  Here’s one with and without translation.  Although I couldn’t determine the original source for the pics (or translation) with any degree of certainty I found them with a quick google image search.  Again, they seem to be offering the same kind of delivery health service albeit with a far more of a ”schoolgirl” than a ”health” twist.

courtesy of Mark at yenx.blogspot.com

 So what’s the message of this post?  Umm, I don’t think there is one.  But, I guess the next time you’re cruising through the convenience store stop for a second and check out the magazine rack.  You might be just as surprised as I was to see what’s hiding in plain sight.

Once again the entire country of Japan has decided to freak-out about the Swine Influenza and all of the Japanese housewives and mothers have frantically busted open their piggybanks and purchased hundreds of thousands of flu masks in a matter of just a few days.

One day everyone will be walking around like normal and then the very next day every Japanese person is walking around wearing a mask.  WTF, will someone please tell me how this happens?  Is there some kind of telepathy or secret code system that only Japanese people have?  Did the government issue some kind of health advisory that only I missed? 

Actually I think the answer is much simpler and much more banal.  Once Japanese people have decided they’re going to freak-out about something, everyone, I mean literally everyone,  follows what the rest of the group is doing.  In this case it means that if your neighbor starts wearing a mask you had damn well better rush as fast as you can to the drugstore to buy masks for your entire family.  However, your daughter has also seen her college friends wearing masks so she too has rushed out to buy masks for the entire family (this is because she was taught well by her mother the importance of doing exactly what everyone else is doing and doing it as quickly as possible).  The end result is that you wind up at home with a ridiculous number of flu masks.

If you think I’m joking about this I suggest you go on a little recon mission of your local drugstores.  I did, and what I found was shocking and disturbing.  Of the 4 drugstores in konandai, Japan where I live NOT A SINGLE ONE had any masks for sale.  Why, you ask?  Is it perhaps because it isn’t flu season yet and therefore the stores haven’t yet stocked up on masks?  The answer of course is a resounding NO.  The real reason as I stated before is that in the last few days hordes of Japanese housewives and mothers have rushed in and purchased EVERY SINGLE mask in all 4 drugstores.

My personal, not founded by medical science because I’m not a doctor opinion is that at this point in the game the whole concept of the flu mask is beyond stupid.  The World Health Organization has long since declared the Swine Flu a Global Pandemic and many countries, including I believe Japan, have stated that the number of countrywide Swine Flu cases have reached Epidemic proportions.  Translation, so many people have, or have already gotten the Swine Flu that your chances of catching it at some point this season are basically 100%.  I for one say screw it, I hope I catch the Swine Flu now so I can get over it while it’s still summer.  I mean really, let’s just be thankful that the Swine Flu isn’t any more severe than a normal run-of-the-mill cold.  Now, if I can just convince a handful of Japanese people to agree with me and to throw out their masks, maybe, just maybe, the Japanese national “me-too-ism”  will kick-in and everyone will stop wearing these silly things.  

Oh, and if you thought that everyone wearing masks wasn’t bad enough.  Check out the designer Versace-esque masks that will soon be hitting drugstores this flu-season.  Someone strangle me, please.  

1.  Japanese law has always said that Foreigners were required to have Natl. Health Insurance – no exceptions, no matter what you may have heard from your various employers over the years.

2.  Because of No. 1, it means that you were actually required to join the Natl. Health Insurance when you first came to Japan.  For most of us who were on Visas sponsored by our employers this meant that our employer was responsible for signing us up for both the Pension and the Health Insurance (in this case it is called the Employee’s Natl. Health Insurance) within 4 days of beginning our employment.  Let me guess … your employer told you that since you weren’t Japanese you didn’t qualify for either the pension or the health and advised you to buy private health insurance.  For those of us who were going to be self-employed (very few I’m sure) it meant that the day you got your Gaijin card you were also supposed to stop at the Health Insurance section of your Ward office and sign-up for National Health Insurance. 

3.  The Ward office is legally entitled to charge you for up to 2 years of back-due health insurance payments.  That’s right, up to 2 years back even though you weren’t part of the system.  I can see the sense in making Foreigners have to pay the monthly premiums starting from now, but this system of back-charging the payments for 2 years seems illogical and arbitrary.  So, this means that when you go sign-up for the health insurance (which you will do if you want to have your visa renewed) the Ward official is going to tell you that not only do you have to pay going forward but you also have to pay for the last 2 years of “missed” monthly premium payments.  What this amounts to is that to clear this mess up you are probably looking at paying somewhere close to 550,000 yen … if you’re lucky you’ll get a decent Ward official who will let you have an installment plan.

Below is the text of the original article that broke the story in the Japan Times.

In your wallet or somewhere at home, do you have a blue or pink card showing that you are enrolled in one of Japan’s national health and pension programs? If not, and if you are thinking of extending your stay here, you may want to think about a recent revision to visa requirements for foreign residents. The changes, which the Justice Ministry says were made in order to “smooth out the administrative process,” may have major consequences for foreign residents and their future in Japan.

On a drab, rainy Sunday in June, a group of foreign workers gathered at the office of the National Union of General Workers Tokyo Nambu in Shimbashi to discuss an equally drab topic: social insurance. According to a new immigration law passed by the Diet earlier this month, foreign residents will be required to show proof of enrollment in Japan’s health insurance program in order to renew or apply for a visa after April 1, 2010.

Surrounded by giant protest signs, leaflets and a Che Guevara poster, a quiet anxiety hung in the room as participants listened to the seminar. A handful of attendees were young, but most were middle-aged or approaching retirement age. Many had been working in Japan for years and had never been told anything about insurance, while others were aware of the program but had been dissuaded by their employers from joining it.

Louis Carlet, deputy secretary of Nambu, laid it down for everyone in the room to understand. There are a few basic things that all foreigners in Japan have to know, he explained: first, that everyone over the age of 20 in Japan is required to enroll in an approved Japanese government health insurance scheme and pension fund. If you are under 75 and working at a company that employs more than five people, this most likely means the shakai hoken (social insurance) program; if you are unemployed, self-employed or retired, the equivalent system is the kokumin kenko hoken and kokumin nenkin (national health insurance and pension). The only people exempt are sailors, day laborers, and those working for companies employing less than five people, or for firms without a permanent address (e.g. a film set).

The two systems cover different ground, all of which is explained in detail at www.sia.go.jp/e/ehi.html. Roughly, shakai hoken consists of two parts: kenko hoken (health insurance), which covers 70 percent of your medical costs and 60 percent of lost wages due to illness, and kosei nenkin (pension insurance), which provides a pension after age 65 for those who have paid into the system. The two are inseparable, and anyone enrolled in shakai hoken through their employer automatically pays into both. The kokumin kenko hoken (national health insurance) and kokumin nenkin (national pension) package offers similar coverage but is not provided through an employer.

The bottom line is that all residents of Japan (except those mentioned above) have to be enrolled in one or other of the two systems. The revised visa laws, therefore, should pose no threat to anyone’s visa renewal, because every foreigner in Japan should already be enrolled.

However, the reality is that most foreigners in Japan do not have either form of insurance. For example, a 2004 survey by Hiroshi Kojima of the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research found that only 28.3 percent of Japanese Brazilians in Iwata City, Shizuoka Pref., had any kind of health insurance, and that of these only a third were enrolled in shakai hoken. Another survey in 2009 found that just one out of 27 manufacturing companies had enrolled its foreign employees in workers’ compensation, leaving thousands of foreigners ineligible for any form of assistance when the economic downturn hit Japan last year, leading to mass layoffs.

“I’ve been in Japan for the last 15 years, and nobody told me about these programs,” said one attendee at the seminar, triggering a wave of nervous nods around the room. “What’s going to happen to me? Can I get my past employers to pay up?”

When insurance becomes a requirement for visa renewal next year, those who are not currently enrolled may be obliged to pay for fees that should have been deducted from their salaries had they been properly enrolled by their companies. While the government can only bill employers and employees up to the past two years, it’s a sizable sum of money that many people may not have readily available. Mercifully, local ward offices (kuyakusho) generally allow new enrollees to pay in installments, but their employers may not be so lucky if they are found to have knowingly broken the law by failing to enroll staff in national insurance.

If employers in Japan are obliged to register all employees in shakai hoken, why have so many foreigners been left out?

The chief reason is cost: Carlet explained that companies are required to cover at least 50 percent of their employees’ pension and health insurance premiums, which works out to roughly a tenth of the monthly salary. That’s about ¥30,000 monthly for every worker earning a salary of ¥250,000 — a huge sum of money that can threaten the very survival of a business.

“Billions of yen are at stake for the companies,” stressed Carlet, noting that foreigners are often offered higher wages than their Japanese counterparts to make up for the fact that have to pay for their own private insurance.

Foreign workers often hear a litany of reasons why they should not be enrolled in shakai hoken, or are simply not told about it at all. Employers would have a much tougher time leaving their Japanese staff off the system, argues Carlet, as many associate shakai hoken with a certain social status — those left out of the system tend to be in insecure employment such as day labor and very short-term contract work. For many Japanese workers, nonenrollment implies that their company either doesn’t value them as a long-term employee or simply doesn’t have the funds to cover the cost of insurance.

Apart from the sizable dent it makes on the average paycheck, there are a number of reasons why shakai hoken can seem unappealing for foreigners. For starters there’s the pension: Even though foreigners are required to pay into the system, they won’t actually get the money back until they have paid in for at least 25 years. Those who don’t spend a quarter of a century diligently paying pension fees in Japan can use a kara kikan (empty period) option that allows workers to count years spent working abroad, but only provided that they get permanent residency in Japan before turning 65.

The laws aren’t so accommodating for those who choose to leave Japan permanently and want to claim their money back. As Masahito Azuma, a representative of the Social Insurance Agency (SIA), explains, there is “a lump sum known as dattai ichijikin (lump-sum withdrawal payment) that repays up to three years of contributions (¥249,480).”

But how about if you have contributed money into the pension scheme for more than 10 years? “The maximum (payout) is still three years.” Azuma adds that you would also have to file your application within two years of leaving Japan.

As for health insurance, some foreign workers find little comfort in the fact that shakai hoken covers most of their medical costs, because some well-known English-speaking clinics don’t accept Japanese insurance anyway. For example, at the Hiroo International Clinic based in Minami-Azabu, one of Tokyo’s most diverse neighborhoods, patients can receive medical services in impeccable English, but none of the costs would be covered by Japanese insurance.

“You would have to pay the full cost upfront,” explains Dr. Isao Tsutsumi, adding that his clinic doesn’t accept Japanese insurance because it would oblige him to see Japanese patients and lead to reduced time for individual patients.

It’s not clear why these changes are occurring now. When pressed for an explanation, a representative of the Ministry of Justice (who declined to give her name) replied that it was merely carrying out the Cabinet’s three-year plan for regulatory reform.

“We’re simply acting on the suggestions of the government and the Immigration Bureau,” she said. “The new rule would help the bureau confirm the situation of those enrolled in social insurance, and also encourage the enrollment of those who haven’t done so already.”

Regardless of how people feel about the national health insurance system, the fact is that enrollment is mandatory for residents of Japan, and the new visa requirement merely draws attention to this.

Carlet finds it “bizarre” that some firms claim their foreign workers wanted to be left off the pension and insurance schemes; it’s the law, he says, and employees can “opt out” of it no more than Warren Buffett can “opt out” of paying income tax.

Unfortunately, many companies get away with hiring foreigners without enrolling them in pension and insurance plans because the SIA tends not to crack down on employers with uninsured workers unless certain standards are violated. For example, companies legally have to enroll part-timers if they have been working for the firm more than two months, but the SIA doesn’t necessarily investigate unless an employee is working three-quarters of the hours of a full-time employee (30 hours in most cases). Some language schools get around this by counting only the lesson hours of their employees (28 hours per week maximum) and ignoring their preparation time, while others like Gaba Corp. claim their instructors are subcontractors, who are not eligible for benefits, rather than actual employees.

It’s a lot like driving on a road with an 80-kph limit: It’s illegal to drive 85 kph, but police will only crack down on those going 90 and over, leading many employers to break the law with impunity.

When national health insurance becomes a visa condition in April, many companies will be forced to address these issues as some foreign employees decide to settle in Japan. Clyde Grimm, a curriculum supervisor at the Kanda Institute of Foreign Languages, explains that many foreigners come to work in Japan and end up committed to living in the country. “A lot of us weren’t planning to stay for long,” he shrugs. “But you meet someone, you get married, and you might end up spending your whole life in Japan.”

Whether intended or not, one consequence of forcing non-Japanese residents to become fully paid-up members of society with access to Japan’s social safety net may be that more foreigners feel they have a stake in staying on and making Japan their permanent home.

While it may result in administrative nightmares, the new visa requirements could lead to shifting dynamics between foreigners and their Japanese employers. No longer can these workers be viewed as shifty, temporary staff existing separately from their Japanese colleagues in a legal twilight zone of Japanese labor practices.