Japanese Goblins, Ghosts, Shapeshifters and Devils of the Buddhist Hell are a motley crew ranging from downright funny to ghoulishly scary.  

The Kings of Japanese Ghost Stories (Kaidan) are Koizumi Yakumo f/k/a Lafcadio Hearn who wrote Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things in the early 1900s and Shigeru Mizuki who, in the 1960s, wrote the popular Gegege no Kitaro series – all about Youkai.  

Interestingly, whereas, in many Western cultures, ghost stories are most often recited in Autumn around the time of All Hallows Eve or Halloween, in Japan ghost stories have been traditionally used as a way to cool down from the intollerable heat of summer.  These days many of us have the benefit of air con, but historically, Japanese figured out that the cold chill of fear experienced from a well-told ghost story was a refreshing blast amid the summer heat.  For this reason, Japan enjoys its Ghosts, Ghouls, Goblins, Shapeshifters and other Scaries during the summer months. 

 Myth holds that the land of the Youkai is called Gensokyo and it can only be accessed by travelling through the gateway at Hakurei Shrine. 

courtesy of ayakreuz.tripod.com

courtesy of www.onlineghibli.com/

Youkai have become more popular of late as they have been featured in several Manga series as well as in some of the popular Hayao Miyazake animated movies like Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi (English Title – Spirited Away) and Tonari no Totoro (English Title – My Neighbor Totoro).  Sen to Chihiro featured at least two Youkai that I can think of, the Nukekubi and the Nopperabo.  And, Totoro featured at least one Youkai, the Nekomata or Bake neko. 

courtesy of www.obakemono.com

courtesy of gothamist.com

  Although most often lumped together into one big group, I favor Robert Jay Gould’s 4 categories based on origin.  Below are brief explanations and examples of certain Youkai, Yuurei and Bakemono but the category of Oni is so broad that it is best delved into at a different time when it can be given the attention it properly deserves.  

Youkai - goblinlike monsters were born as monsters and have always been this way. 

    ExamplesTanuki (raccoon dog) 

courtesy of turning-iwatean.blogspot.com

Tanuki have really large testicles and in Japanese myth, the tanuki use their over-sized testicles for many purposes. They are so large they can sleep on them, fill them with air and use them as drums or even as a parachute. In wilder stories, they are known to extend their testicles to the size of eight tatami rooms. They then usually invite human beings into the testicle rooms and discuss or bargain with them. If you are invited in a tanuki’s ballroom (pun intended), remember to put out your cigarettes; you’ll be in for a dangerous adventure if your burning ashes touch the testicle floor… 

Yamabiko (valley echo) – you can summon a Yamabiko by lighting 100 candles and then putting them out 1 by 1.  After the final candle has been put out the Yamabiko will appear in front of you in the darkness. 

courtesy of mathewmeyer.com

Yama Uba (mountain witch) 

She preys on travelers lost in the woods, sometimes disguising herself as a beautiful young maiden, other times sneaking up on them and ensnaring them in her hair, other time offering to help them and instead capturing them, fattening them up to eat later. 

Yuurei - are closest to the ghosts and spirits of the Western world, and Onryo (vengeance seeking ghosts) are a special sub-category of Yuurei.  If a person is killed while feeling strong hatred or need for revenge against their killer the ghost (Onryo) of that person will be able to return and take vengeance on the killer.  

    Examples 

Ikiryou (doppleganger or ghost body double) 

courtesy of vientosdeldestino.blogspot.com

Yuki Onna (snow woman) 

The snow woman of Niigata Prefecture causes people to freeze to death and tears the livers out of living children, in Iwate and Miyagi she can pull out your soul, and in Ibaraki she calls out to passers-by and pushes them into ravines if she is ignored. In Aomori she takes on the character of the mother ghost called ubume, harassing people into holding her child, which then becomes so large it crushes them and she devours the body. 

courtesy of deviantart.com

Kuchisake Onna (vampire mouth woman) 

There is a kinda scary story about the Kuchisake Onna, you can check it out here. 

Bakemono – are supernatural shapeshifters that originated from something else; generally negative feelings will create an Obake. 

    Examples 

Nekomata (shapeshifting shamin cat) cats that live past 10 years of age and turn into Nekomata and their tails split in 2; said to have shaman-like abilities and hate humans at some times (pictured above). 

courtesy of cronicasmundosocultos.blogspot.com

Nopperabo (the faceless) 

They appear at first as a human being, sometimes even impersonating someone familiar to the victim, before causing their face to melt and disappear leaving a smooth sheet of skin where the facial features formerly were. 

Nukekubi (headless body)   

courtesy of wikimedia.com

Appears as a normal human being but at nighttime the head can fully detach from the body and bounce or fly around searching for people to devour.  Myth has it that if you encounter a headless body you should hide it away so that the returning head can’t find its body and then both parts will die.  In his book Kwaidan – Japanese Ghost Stories, Koizumi Yakumo mistakenly referred to the Nukekubi as Rokurokubi, which can elongate or stretch their necks while the head goes in search of food.

courtesy of scaryforkids.com

As far as my favorite, well after a lot of consideration I narrowed it down to two.  One “funny” favorite, the Tanuki or big-balled raccoon dog, and one “scary” favorite, the Nukekubi or headless body. 

“This article is a submission for the Japan Blog Matsuri hosted by Mazikeen“ 

Sources

1. Addis, Stephen, ed. Japanese Ghosts and Demons: Art of the Supernatural. George Braziller, 2001.
2. Kiej’e, Nikolas. Japanese Grotesqueries. C. E. Tuttle Co., 1973.
3. abbr. KYDD: Kaii-Yōkai Denshō Database. Online bibliographical database of supernatural folklore published by the International Research Center for Japanese Studies.
4. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mizuki Shigeru No Nihon Yōkai Meguri. JTB, 2001.
5. Mizuki, Shigeru. Aizōban Yōkai Gadan. Iwanami Shoten, 2002.
6. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mujara 1: Kantō, Hokkaidō, Okinawa-hen. Soft Garage, 2003.
7. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mujara 2: Chūbu-hen. Soft Garage, 2003.
8. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mujara 3: Kinki-hen. Soft Garage, 2003.
9. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mujara 4: Chūgoku, Shikoku-hen. Soft Garage, 2004.
10. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mujara 5: Tōhoku, Kyūshū-hen. Soft Garage, 2004.
11. Mizuki, Shigeru. Mujara 6: Sekai, Tokubetsu-hen. Soft Garage, 2004.
12. Takehara, Shunsen. Tōsanjin Yawa – Ehon Hyaku Monogatari. Kadokawa Shoten, 2006. ISBN 4043830017.
13. Toriyama, Sekien. Gazu Hyakki Yakō Zenga Shū. Kadokawa Shoten, 2005. ISBN 4044051011.
14. Yanagita, Kunio. Yōkai Dangi. Kōdansha, 1977. ISBN 406158135X.

DISCLAIMER – For those of you who can’t realize that this is a parody turn off your computer and throw it out the window right now because you are just far too stupid to be using the internet in the first place.

 Brought to you without pain, pride or prejudice, and in no particular order here’s February 2010’s Top 10 Strange Japanese Laws.

1. If a man asks a woman to go on a date she can not refuse him.

2. If an older brother asks to marry your girlfriend by law and honour you, and your girlfriend, must agree.

3. It is illegal to cook Fugu (Blow Fish) for more than 80 seconds. Fugu contains deadly poison in the organs. Despite of the risk, fugu dishes are considered special feasts in Japan.

  + 81 seconds = 

4. The importing of photographs showing genitals is against the law.

Japanese Digital Porn Censor

Arrested for Not Censoring

Hoohas Enough.

5. Women are legally obliged to wear bra’s in buildings with air conditioning because men get too aroused looking at their hard nipples.

6. Hundreds of years ago in Japan anyone who attempted to leave the country was instantly executed.

7. Home brewing anything over 1% is illegal in Japan. The penalties involved are up to 5 years in prison and/or up to a 50 man yen (about $5000 USD) fine in addition to confiscation of your brewing equipment.

8. A few years back, a Chinese soap hit it big with consumers in Asia. It was claimed in ads that users would lose weight with Seaweed Defat Scented Soap simply by washing with it. The soap was sold in violation to the Japanese Pharmaceutical Affairs Law and was banned. Reportedly, the craze for the soap was so great that Japanese tourists from China and Hong Kong brought back large quantities. The product was also in violation of customs regulations. In June and July 1999 alone, over 10,000 bars were seized.

9. In the 1630s, a decree in Japan forbade the building of any large ocean-worthy ships to deter defection.

10. The Nationality Law says that a child born out of wedlock to a non-Japanese mother is only recognized as a citizen if the Japanese father admits paternity prior to the child’s birth or marries the mother before the child turns 20.

AND

3 more for good luck!!

11. Birth control pills were illegal in Japan until June 1999 when the Japanese Ministry of Health yielded to the demands of doctors in Japan and pharmaceutical giants.

12. If a woman were to divorce her husband, and have a child within 6 months of the divorce the baby is legally the child of her ex-husband, moreover the woman can’t get remarried within 6 months of the divorce.

13. The Japanese constitution is so-called “peace constitution” and according to Article 9, War is against the law in Japan. Japan is the only country in the world that renounces War.

“This article is a submission for the Japan Blog Matsuri hosted by Muza-chan’s Gate to Japan“

The last Winter Olympic Games were held in Turin, Italy. Shizuka Arakawa won the country’s only medal, a gold, in women’s figure skating. 

Athletes representing Japan participated in all but one of the 2006 Olympics’ 15 sports, with Ice hockey the only exception.  The 2010 Olympic Games will begin in 5 days time in Vancouver, BC, Canada, and there will be 95 Japanese competitors competing in 14 events.

So Japaners, what’s your favorite Winter Olympic event?  I’m partial to the Giant Slalom and Curling.  How will Japan do this time in the ever-so-important medal race?  Will the country bring home more than 1 medal, or will it fall short of expectations again?  Will the athletes show their samurai pride? 

Tune in to www.crazygaijin.com for regular 2010 Winter Olympic updates and for an up-to-date medal count.  Let’s hope I can still remember how to count past 1.

OLYMPIC UPDATE

Thanks to my exclusive on the ground reporter I can bring you pictures LIVE from Cypress Mountain, Vancouver, BC, Canada.  We also have videos but unfortunately my WordPress Host only supports a max of 8MB’s per video and most of our videos are closer to 75MB.  Once I figure out a work-around to this problem I’ll get the videos up also.

These show the Mogul competition run itself and the male Canadian competitors silver medal run.  Enjoy and we will provide more updates as the 2010 Winter Olympiad continues.

So no Groundhog Day in Japan but we do have this interesting bean throwing ritual.  Props to anyone who can come on my blog and accurately explain this ritual to me ’cause I’ve never fully understood it or its purpose.

Here is some more interesting information, original found at the Huffington Post, about Punxsutawney Phil and Groundhog Day for those of you who are interested.

Groundhog Day is held on Feb. 2, in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania every year, and you might be wondering how a groundhog landed the job of predicting the weather. If you’re unfamiliar with the tradition, it goes like this: If the groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, sees his shadow, we’re stuck with six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t see his shadow, we luck out with an early spring.

The tradition dates back to 1887, and though the origins are unclear, it is said to have originated from ancient European weather lore in which a badger or sacred bear predicts the weather, rather than a groundhog. It also has religious origins, as it shares similarities with Candlemas Day, which is also on Feb. 2. According to an old English song, “If Candlemas be fair and bright,/ Come, Winter, have another flight.”

Punxsutawney Phil has definitely adapted to the times. He can now text you his Tuesday weather prediction. Just text “Groundhog” to 247365 on Groundhog Day.

States without groundhogs are taking matters into their own hands by choosing their own weather predictor. Texas, for example, chose its state mammal, an armadillo, to predict the weather for their first “Armadillo Day.” Only time will tell whether the groundhog or the armadillo is the true prognosticator.

Here are five facts you probably didn’t know about Groundhog Day:

1. Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow 97 times, has not seen it 15 times, and nine years are unaccounted for.

2. The National Climatic Data Center reportedly stated that Phil’s prediction’s have been correct 39 percent of the time. This number is in conflict with Phil’s club, which states he’s been right 100 percent of the time.

3. According to the funny website groundhog.org, there’s a legend that during Prohibition, Phil threatened to impose 60 weeks of winter on the community if he wasn’t allowed a drink.

4. In the years following the release of Groundhog Day, a 1993 film starring Bill Murray, crowds numbering as high as 30,000 have visited Gobbler’s Knob, a tiny hill in Punxsutawney where the ceremony takes place.

5. Though groundhogs typically live only six to eight years, Groundhog Day lore suggests that Phil drinks a magic elixir every summer, which gives him seven more years of life.

It’s been a hell of a long time since I have blogged a new entry and I’m not really sure why.  Certainly getting my Japanese driver’s license took all of my free time for the months of November and December.  But where did January disappear to?

I mean WHAT did I do in January other than work, go to the gym, read books and sit on my ass at home watching TV.  Well I guess I did do a bunch of DIY (Do It Yourself) projects so that was a good thing. 

Which brings me to the point of this, my first blog entry in nearly 2 and 1/2 months.  I want to put together a list of the craziest DIY projects that people can think of, then we can all vote on the craziest one and then I’ll probably do the project myself.

Ok Japaners start submitting your DIY project ideas now and I’ll leave the list open for the next week.  At the end of the week I’ll put the whole list up and then we can vote.

Ever taken enough time in lawson 7/11 or FamilyMart to actually check out the magazines they’re selling?  If you’re like me you probably haven’t.  But just the other day out of complete boredom I did just that. 

Ok, so the vast majority of the magazines are women’s beauty and glamour mags and most of the rest are men’s gravure or porno mags.  Then of course there are the manga books, but usually in a different section because we wouldn’t want to have the kids manga on the same shelf as the men’s pornos would we.

But finally you should find a small selection of magazines with the words デリヘル or  でりへる printed on them.  These were the ones that caught my attention because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what デリヘル stood for.  A google search showed me that the words are short for delivery and health.    The one shown here is titled Manzoku which means satisfaction. 

Like a lot of non-japanese words that have been integrated into the Japanese language I don’t quite get how the terms Delivery and Health came to be used in the way that they are.  If my basic understanding is correct, Delivery Health service companies have been around in Japan for about 10 years, and the gist is that if you place an order with a Delivery Health service company within 45 minutes to an hour you are going to wind up with a beautiful young-ish girl ringing your buzzer (literally).  Sorry ladies, apparently the service does not yet extend to the delivery of male health service providers.  

From what I have been able to piece together through limited research the story is that, since the Japanese laws are apparently a little ambiguous on exactly which sexual acts qualify for a criminal charge of prostitution, these Delivery Health services seem to circumvent the problem by offering anything and everything short of vaginal sexual intercourse. 

In fact here’s a translated screenshot of a Delivery Health service’s website.  I’m fairly confident that I’m not actually violating their copyright by re-printing it here because this version has been run through a Babelfish translation service and so it is therefore markedly different than the original.  However, if you want to see the original just go here, and if the Delivery Health company wants me to remove the screenshot of their website I will.

Well, as you can plainly see the list of included “healthcare service” extends to such basic acts as ball-licking, 69 and element crotch (use your imagination).  However, since no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, after your Delivery Health service provider arrives, there’s a good bet that your Delivery Health includes the full health check-up.  And, as for the 2000 yen discount listed on the 45 minute health session, I imagine just like everyone else these Health Service Providers are also suffering from the current recession.

Although not quite the same as a デリヘル　magazine the much smaller pink chirashi leaflets arrive conveniently in your mailbox every week.  Here’s one with and without translation.  Although I couldn’t determine the original source for the pics (or translation) with any degree of certainty I found them with a quick google image search.  Again, they seem to be offering the same kind of delivery health service albeit with a far more of a ”schoolgirl” than a ”health” twist.

 So what’s the message of this post?  Umm, I don’t think there is one.  But, I guess the next time you’re cruising through the convenience store stop for a second and check out the magazine rack.  You might be just as surprised as I was to see what’s hiding in plain sight.

we love foreigners, oh yes we do

Let me first point out that I am not the original source for this picture.  If you would like to see more of the original sources pictures or read the story please go here. 

Well, others may have experienced this but it’s a first for me.   I have never participated in the annual Yamanote line Halloween party and after what happened this year I am pretty glad that I haven’t. 

Remember when you were younger and you used to do all sorts of wild and crazy shit?  Perhaps I’ve been hit by a wave of nostalgia, but I suddenly miss the good ol’ days when up was down, down was up and I didn’t know in which direction my ass was headed.

Last night I went to a sayonara party for my mate, Stef, who is leaving Japan to go spend the next few months touring New Zealand by bicycle.  He was telling me and my other mate that in his group of friends we were among the only few that actually supported his journey as being worthy and not a sign of his impending insanity.

What happened to us all?  Since when did an exciting trip around New Zealand and an opportunity to find yourself become something that others would look at skeptically and speak about in hushed tones as soon as your back was turned?  When did we get old?  When did we stop living, or in some of our cases stop creating all out carnage?

Shite, I remember the time when a group of us got together and jumped off a 70 foot train trestle into the river below without batting an eyelid.  Or, that one time at band camp when … you get the point. 

Props out to my mate Stef.  I applaud him for the journey he is about to go on and for also hopefully reminding the rest of us cheeky bastards that life is meant to be lived not just sloughed through day by day.  So here’s my open challenge to all – get out there and start tearin some shit up like you did when you were younger.  Cut loose and don’t worry about the improprieties for at least a few hours.  Have a few too many beers and find yourself in a Japanese fish packing plant at 1 in the morning.

creating a utopia

Happy Science

I was riding my bike down the hill to Don Quixote the other day to buy a few odds and ends and to check out if they had any funny new Engrish advertising going on in the store and I spotted a business that I had not seen in town before.  Now I’m not sure if it’s simply a brand-new business or if I’ve ridden my bike past and missed it every time. 

 Tucked between a Pappa Pasta パーパー　パスタ　Italian chain restaurant and a new Pet Store is this non-descript big white building with an English sign on the front that says quite simply “Happy Science”. 

Happy Science business

 The name gives me pause to stop and think and honestly at the time I’m thinking “what the fu%$” does Happy Science mean?  I understand both words but I’m just not sure how they fit together.   I mean is this some kind of business that is doing scientific research into the cause of happiness and depression like some kind of Prozac University? 

Or is it more sinister?  Is it a group of scientists which are so power-hungry for world domination they’ve developed some scientific way of permanently making us all so darn happy that we walk around all day with big shit-eating-grins on our faces, drooling like a bunch of idiots?  Either way I considered it my honorable duty to get to the bottom of this secretive business. 

So, I casually strolled up to the door and made to go in.  Damn!!  The door was locked.  Strange, because I can see people inside.  So I wait for a few minutes to see if someone will come and open the door for me but nothing happens.  The people inside are looking at me and I’m looking at them but they are making no effort to come and see what I want, it’s almost as if they are … IGNORING ME! 

As I turn my back on the door to walk away my spiderman crazy gaijin sense started tingling and I figured I had better make like a tree and leave.  I’m a peace loving kinda guy, the last thing I need is a group of whacked out scientist types kidnapping me for their “happiness” experiments or whatever.  But, just as I was about to get back on my bicycle I spotted a clue.  I knew that this clue might help me to discover some information or evidence of this mass conspiracy that was clearly going on right under our noses.  It was a sign near the front of the building announcing that ”the rebirth of buddha” would occur on October 17, 2009.

buddha to be reborn 10/17/2009

What is this nonsense.  Buddha, being reborn, and this October 17th no less… how hadn’t I heard about this?  I mean it’s not as if I had been sleeping under a rock or anything so why wasn’t I privy to the fact that savior of one of the world’s foremost religions was being reborn in less than 3 weeks?  Shocked, I was utterly taken aback. 

I had split second decisions to make.  Was it true?  How did this relate to the scientists inside happily working on their medicines or world domination or whatever?  What should I do with this information?  Should I keep it to myself or share it?  As I bicycled away I decided this was too big for just me, other people had to be told, I needed to spread the word.

I reached home without further incident, popped on my computer and decided to do a bit of research before going any further.  A few google clicks later and all the necessary information was at my fingertips.  Apparently there was a connection between the Happy Scientists and Buddha being reborn this October.  As it turns out Happy Science is some kind of new cult religion and the founder of which either a) thinks that Buddha will be reborn on October 17, 2009, or b) has filmed a movie titled “the rebirth of buddha” which is set for release on October 17, 2009.  I’ll let you choose whichever makes more sense to you.

Ok folks here’s the deal.  We need to find out more information about this Happy Science movement before it’s too late.  Here’s the founder’s picture and here’s Happy Science’s website.  He thinks he’s going to create a utopia for us all.  What do you think?

is this man sane?

Supertyphoons to Strike Japan Due to Global Warming

Increasingly powerful “supertyphoons” will strike Japan if [because] global warming continues to affect [completely mess-up] weather patterns in the western Pacific Ocean, scientists say.

Supercomputer simulations show there will be more typhoons with winds of 179 miles (288 kilometers) per hour—considered an F3 on the five-level Fujita Scale—by 2074.  By definition, supertyphoons carry winds of at least 150 miles (241 kilometers) per hour.

Such storms would be more destructive than Hurricane Katrina, which slammed into U.S. states along the Gulf of Mexico in August 2005.

[However, the supertyphoons] will pack a far higher concentration of energy, wind speed, and overall destructive power.  The tempests would cause a great deal of damage across Japan, which is unprepared for such violent weather systems.

Ferocious winds would level homes and damage infrastructure such as bridges and power lines. Severe floods would also inundate low-lying areas.

The most destructive typhoon to strike Japan to date was Typhoon Vera, which barreled across the country in September 1959.

Known in Japan as the Isewan Typhoon, the storm came ashore in Ise Bay near Nagoya and killed 5,238 people.